"Still not married?": How to answer tactless questions about your personal life

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"Still not married?": How to answer tactless questions about your personal life


It may seem that the main goal of tactless dulls is to hurt you for the living. But it's not always the case. Anastasia Krinitsyna, a psychologist and a senior lecturer at the RUDE University, explains: people around you quite often ask incorrect questions, pursuing generally good purposes. So why do these lovely people force us to blush?


Burn away from curiosity
Those who lead a measured life, when for many years nothing has changed, lack events. And they begin to spy on others: for example, reading scandalous details about celebrity relationships or gossiping about friends and neighbors. These people see you as the heroine of Sarah Jessica Parker and look forward to the next series.

Worried
Most often this category includes relatives. Mom filled out your profile in Tinder and terrorizes: “When will you finally find a husband?” This is how parents who suffer from an over-care act. For them, you are still a little girl, not an independent person. Do not worry, over time they will pass.

Looking for a common topic
A friend has a change: she married or is expecting a child? “Get ready for endless conversations about the wedding and the children,” the expert warns. Before, you could spend hours discussing noisy parties and upcoming sales. But now her views have changed better than the image of Katy Perry.

Think pattern
Inconvenient questions can be asked by those who are accustomed to living according to the script. Here everything is predictable, like a concert in honor of the Day of Militia. Any deviations from the “institute – marriage – children – pension” plan are unacceptable. Like hardened gamers, they tend to move to the next “level”. And they think that you dream of hearing the march of Mendelssohn right after graduation at the institute.

How to respond?
Counterstrike
The best defense is attacking. Pretend that you care about the fate of a neighbor. How many joint trips in the elevator you have experienced! Attack the interlocutor with his own weapon. Everybody has weak spots. “When will the children be?” Answer: “Well, that was asked! How is Vanechka doing at school? ”What is your salary? ”Answer:“ Speaking of finances, how is your loan? Does the husband help? ”

On the positive
There are people who are enraged by the success of others, but other people's failures, on the contrary, give strength. Leave the envious with nothing. Pretend you don't care about their taunts. “Why are you so thin?” Answer: “Really? So nice to hear that! ”You never got a job? ”Answer:“ No! I continue to have a great time! ”

"I do not understand"
Rephrase the question interlocutor. The point is to make him feel stupid. The poor fellow is not appeased? Make it clear that she does not intend to discuss this topic. And keep calm. “When is the second?” Answer: “It seemed to me, or would you like to participate?”

Wrong address
Translate arrows. Why do you have to report and predict the future? Guide curious to more knowledgeable people or higher forces. So help all Google! “When has she married again?” Answer: “I do not have such information.” "How much are your shoes?" Answer: "I have no idea, this is a gift."

From a smile will be brighter
Joke! Effective, but also the most difficult way, as it implies a sense of humor. But, skillfully combining indifference with wit, you will kill two birds with one stone and one talker. “When will you get married?” Answer: “They met today, but overslept. We’ll have an alarm clock tomorrow! ” Why don't you have a boyfriend? ”Answer:“ He was, he died from happiness. ”

Universal answer
You open your mouth in surprise when a neighbor asks about another fan? In this case, there are universal phrases. Thanks to them, the mouth closes, not only for you but for most acquaintances. Ask: “Do you want to talk about it?” And having received an affirmative answer, kindly say: “But I am not”. And to the questions that begin with the word “When ...?” Calmly say: “You will find out for sure first!”