Loves - dislikes: 4 practical advice on how to save your relationship

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Loves - dislikes: 4 practical advice on how to save your relationship

“When people say your relationship is complex, you can believe it or not. You have a job change, sleepless nights with children, travel, illness and stuff like that. And it is quite another thing if the relationship falls apart because of you.


I fell in love with him at first sight. We took a mortgage, brought children, passed the fire, water, and copper pipes. And one day he threw the strap of a backpack over his shoulder and left the house. True, by that time we had been emotionally behind the door for a long time, both of them.

At the time of acquaintance, I thought that he was too beautiful for me, and did not agree to meet for a month. Then everything suddenly spun, we came together and after a couple of months already tried to conceive a child. If I had been told earlier about this, I would have answered that this is impossible. We had no experience of family life, but we tried very hard.

After six years of marriage, the day came when he left. And almost immediately I realized that I also wanted to do this. Together with all the troubles of our relationship are gone and all the joys: as we go somewhere together, go in the car, he puts his hand on my leg ... And we tried to start all over again, putting our relationship at the forefront. It was a long way, which consisted of small steps.

Here is what helped us the most:

1. Move away from friends who do not want you to be together
A person who says: “He is not created for you, you better be alone” - you are not a friend if the relationship with your husband is more precious. The exception is an abuser husband, from whom it has long been worth leaving. Relationships are good with those who see good in a partner, as well as with happy couples.

2. Do not quarrel over who has a harder job: the one who deals with children, or the employee
No one will win, both will lose. This battle has no positive outcome: both work equally hard. And that's all. You can discuss this only in the vein that it is difficult for you, without comparison with your partner.

3. Pause your personal hobbies and do what you enjoy doing together.
If the husband is a hunter who disappears in the forest all weekends, and you, for example, like to write a book on a computer at night, both of you feel lonely. There is nothing bad in a hobby, but now you need common interests.

We went on day trips with and without children, went to sports competitions, to the cinema and wherever possible, but - together.

4. Speak nice
This is Captain Evidence's advice, but it is incredibly effective. According to statistics, in a happy marriage, 5 good things fall into one bad, so it’s worth checking out - and what about you?

Say nice things. Both. Do you like his shirt? Say Did she make a delicious dinner? We must rejoice out loud. Take him by the arm or by the shoulder - when did it occur to you for the last time?


I know one thing: all these emotional and temporal costs will then pay off many times over! ”